But how can we get the children to eat their lentils?

For the past 20 years, the Lentil has been the heroic legume of the Palouse.

Wax the Beemer, Suzie, it's time to lead the parade to celebrate this culinary wonder. Fresh from Le Cordon Bleu, Mr. Lentil is ready to put the "wow" in this cr-wow-d.

Oh, and Peg, would you mind removing yourself from that Steely Dan song and strapping yourself to a pole in order to flip-flop for about 30 minutes in honor of this thing? We promise we'll have a nice vat of lentil chili ready for you after it's over, because, after all, you'll do anything for lentils, right?

"Not quite sure how I ended up in this gosh-dern parade, but I reckon enough folks enjoy seeing me do this, and heck! This might be the only shot I have at showing the youngfolk how things used to be done."

Crystal's all like, "Okay, okay, I get it, trombones." They're doing it for you, Crystal, they're doing it for you. And for the lentils.

Lentil Festival 2009. Like I would miss this thing.